So Rick and I went to this club tonight, Atomic Cafe. It's really happening, packed with people, live band, the works. So we get there, listen to the band for a bit, head to the bar get some drinks, and then begin to move across the back of the crowd to get a better view. As were walking across, weaving through a 6 inch wide path between people, a guy is kinda walking on my heels as we go. It's no big deal since it's super crowded, until about half way across the room when I feel his hand in my pocket and on my wallet. I stop walking grab his hand and turn around. The man looks like a 20 something german or turkish guy, about 5' something. I'm towering above him looking down at him. He begins on a tirade in German, god knows what about "What, what, why'd you grab my hand, it wasn't in your pocket." Who knows. I just stare at him, saying nothing. I continue walking and then when I get to where I want to stand to watch the show, I stop again and stair at him. He keeps talking, getting angrier and angrier. Eventually he walks away. I watch the show, every once and a while keeping an eye on where he is. About 45 minutes later after the band finishes, two girls who are standing in front of us begin looking around on the ground and talking to each other, seeming worried. He had been standing behind them earlier. They walk away looking distraught. I go up to them and say "What did you lose?" The girl explains that someone took her handy (cell phone) out of her purse. I tell her I know who did it and to stay there. I begin walking around the club and shortly see the guy. He's heading towards the exit, I guess he got everything he needed for the night. I stop him at the exit and tell him to give the girl back her phone and there won't be any trouble. The guy goes ballistic. Before I even begin to speak he's offering to show me his bag and its contents. He continues to deny he has anything so I say "Come on" and motion towards where I left the girl. He strides furiously in front of me away from the exit and to the other side of the club. I take him to the girl and indicate to her that this is the guy. He starts going crazy. He offers to let me search his bag and I tell him I don't want to, just give her back her phone. He takes her into the girls bathroom, ostensibly to show her that he doesn't have the phone. He comes back out a minute later and is screaming "What is your name!?!" and "I fucking kill you!" among other things. I'm standing between him and the girl and I ask Rick if there is some kind of bouncer. He indicates that the guy I had been talking to earlier near where I was, worked there. The guy has already seen that a scene is about to occur. The guys a little skater kid with a sky cap. He kinda grapples the guy and talks to him, I assume saying get the fuck out. The guy is ballistic, "I fucking kill you!" "I be waiting outside. You come outside" He swings at me and clips me with an open hand. I grab his wrists and hold him until the guy pushes him towards the exit. I go back and apologize to the girl and her friend that I couldn't get their phone back. Rick and I stayed for another hour or so listening to music, watching people dance and I got bored and headed home. So if you're in a club in Germany and you see a guy, the only guy in the whole room who's carrying a carpet bag, hold on to your wallet and keep your purse in front of you, and if you catch the guy and he freaks out, hit the little man in the face before he hits you.


  • kati says:

    I read this post and swelled with pride. I could only hope that a guy I know would be willing confront a thief, help a stranger, and use the phrase “and there won’t be any trouble” while doing so. Sounds like you took the pickpocket bitch-slap standing up, too. I am thoroughly pleased and impressed.

  • robyn says:

    Even though you were towering over the bad guy, I imagine that kind of confrontation could be terrifying! Props to you.
    I just barely made it through a confrontation with my landlord’s assistant-guy.

  • gene says:

    It wasn’t actually scary at all. The guy looked like a midget version of Ringo Star and so I was mostly holding back laughter. Did you give your landlords assistant guy a nuckle sandwich? Is this your old shitty landlord, or you current landlord?
    I miss you.

  • robyn says:

    I miss YOU.
    Current landlord. And knuckle sandwiches aren’t conducive to lease renewal, silly.

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