Jason Fucking Shamai

I'm continually blown away by the fact that there are certain areas of my life in which I don't adapt. Time passes and I'm the same. The instance of this which brings it to mind is my good friend Jason. Jason is probably the kindest person I know, if it makes sense to use that word these days. He's great, and he probably has better interpersonal communication skills than anyone else I can think of. If I had to choose someone out of my peers to mediate Pakistan India peace accords, it'd be Jason.
Jason also swears a lot. Jason cusses like a sailor. Not your average sailor, but in a way that only Jason can. It seems to be part of a UPS lexicon, but I'm not sure. Classic examples are "Holy fuck on a shit strobe!", "Just last night I was at Erica's new "BLOOD OF THE DEEPEST RED" apartment and the fuckers upstairs were vacuuming at 10:30 at night, then again half an hour later.", "48 per fucking cent gay! ", " Erica! Congratufuckinlations!", "Holy Jesus! Those CNN reports are fake?".
Now the reason I bring this up is because every single time I read "Holy fuck on a shit strobe" it's like touching my tongue to the end of 9 volt battery. Not a big deal, but a shock none the less.
I don't understand it, I swear as much as the next guy. So I guess my finding is the following : props to Jason for bringing back the original kick that cussing had and we have now eradicated by overuse. Huzzah!


  • jason says:

    I don’t know what the cock you’re talking about. My mouth is as clean as Mr. Bubble’s favorite whore.

  • dianna says:

    Personally, I think my favorite Jasonism is “shit in heaven!” The mental image can’t be beat.
    Who do you suppose is Mr. Bubble’s favorite whore, anyway?

  • michele says:

    given a choice between being mr bubble’s whore and mr clean of the shiny bald head and bulging muscles’ whore, i would choose mr bubble. rotund pink-ness can’t be beat. he looks like a boob.

  • erica says:

    obviously, when mr. shamai refers to “mr. bubble’s favorite whore”, he means me. because i am so clean, see?

  • michele says:

    ….you’re not *that* clean. i cry foul. erroneous title claiming.

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